Rain check

It has been raining heavily. It's the end of August and I can feel the seasons changing. Today is the last day of my holiday, tomorrow I will be back at work, and the beginning of the Autumn term will be underway. The Autumn season of Cinemateket commences on Tuesday, which will bring an extra couple of hours of culture and enjoyment to every Tuesday and Saturday, and a means of easing into the habit of stockings and more than one layer of clothing. There is something appealing in entering a cinema in daylight, then emerging again in darkness. A way to acknowledge time passing.

Time is passing, even though it feels as if I have gone back in time three months right now, and that will change again at the end of the week. I think I need the rain at times like this, when one is sort of stuck in the middle. August has been a surreal month, great excitement and happiness rubbing shoulders with anxiety and sadness. I think I would like my Autumn a little more constant.

rainy views from today's window. it cleared up later on.

Alone Again

In May I started compiling a collection of my favourite songs about crying. Crying, tears, general sadness. I was hoping to play it at a clubnight or something similar - a misery laden dj set of a sort. But then my life changed drastically and I was unable to listen to 'In Tears', as I tentatively called it - because I have literally been in that state for the past 5 weeks or so. I have been told that crying is a side-effect of a particularly malignant disease known as 'heartbreak'.
I moved across the world to build a life with someone, and now I do not have that anymore. I do have a collection of amazing songs that seem to know how I feel though - even if no one else does.

I don't know what I will do with these songs. Maybe one day I will stand at a DJ booth in a small and relatively empty bar - I imagine it will be raining. Now a relative loner in this town, none of my friends would be there, and the regulars in the bar would be unable to appreciate the mixture of tearful moody-garage tunes, and woeful sweeping ballads, but I could at least play them in a respectively atmospheric surrounding.

In any event, I made a playlist of this set, for people to enjoy in the comforts of their own home while on a steady diet of Gin & Tonics (whatever gets you through the night, eh). But sad songs are always good to keep on hand, you never know when you might be needing them.

Enjoy! (if that is the right word to use in this situation) IN TEARS